Eternal Tears of Sorrow has officially come to an end. But in reality, we had already been inactive for two years. We tried writing new songs, but our standards had risen so high that nothing truly excited us. And if the passion wasn’t there, forcing it would have felt wrong.
This time, the decision was mutual: no drama, no conflict, just the realisation that it was time to move on. And that’s a good thing. Knowing when to let go is just as important as knowing when to push ahead.
That wasn’t the case the first time.
In short, our first split in the early 2000s was incredibly difficult for me. It was not just hard in music, but also in life. When writing Chaotic Beauty in 1999, we were full of energy. But by the time it came out, something had changed. The enthusiasm faded. Discussions about ending the band began. Suddenly, I felt like an outsider in my own band. This was the first group where I truly felt I belonged. And then it was gone, and I couldn’t help it. Bad communication? Definitely. EToS was always horrible at communicating.
I wish I had just asked, “What the hell is happening here?” But I didn’t. I was a different person then: a people-pleaser, someone who didn’t know what I really wanted. And even before our fourth album had even been released, the band was practically no more.
When EToS returned in 2004, the band didn’t feel the same, after all the things that had happened. We, the old members of the band, were no longer a tight-knit group. We were just bandmates, colleagues. And that’s how it remained until the end.
But I have no regrets. Our second era brought two incredible decades of music, unforgettable experiences, and a deep appreciation for everything we built. We toured the world, wrote music we were truly proud of, and connected with so many people through our songs. EToS will always be a part of me, and I’m grateful for every moment.
Now, for the first time, I feel free to create something new, without the weight of the past. If there’s one lesson I’m taking into my next band, it’s this: communication matters. A band is like any relationship, without open conversations, things can fall apart very quickly. This time, I’m making sure we get it right.
So here I am, ready for what’s ahead. EToS was an unforgettable chapter. Now it’s time to write a new one with everything I’ve learned. I have a fresh perspective and a renewed sense of purpose. And I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me next.
Jarmo Puolakanaho 